08 May 2006

Its Raining Its Pouring

So much for the better weather. Last weeks sunshine was a teaser. Yes, I know I need to be patient. Everything in its time, right? Ugh. I want it NOW!!! ::stomps feet and sticks out lower lip::

My yoga class starts this morning. It is pouring out. This type of weather kills me in the fibro pain department and all I want to do is curl up in bed and wimper. I have been looking foward to this class for weeks and today I just simply don't feel like going. I will go, and I am sure I will be happy that I did. But dang, its going to take everything I have to get my arse out the door. blah blah blah.

UPDATE: Well I went. It was a nice class. I was the youngest person there by 20+ years. (and I am nearly 40...) which is fine by me. I asked for a gentle easy class because of my fibromyalgia. And gentle it was. Easy it was not. We barely did any standing poses, only 2 simple sun salutations, and mostly lying down poses. I AM IN EXCRUTIATING PAIN. Seriously. I can hardly walk. I started crying in class because it was so hard. (Just a couple discreet tears, the waterworks didn't flow until after class) I used to have a really strong yoga practice a few years ago. Even just a year ago I was able to do a fairly vigorous Ashtanga practice. But now I can barely keep up with the senior set. I was shaking trying to hold simple poses and forget balance with this farkin' dizziness. I can't point my toes or my legs go into spasm.

I am trying not to be discouraged. I know that it will take a bit of getting used to and that it will get easier...I hope. Fibromyalgia is weird stuff when it comes to exercise. But it is hard. Really hard. I came home and threw myself into my study and homework in an attempt to keep my mind off the pain. That worked for a bit, but now that the kids are home from school and they need to do be up and active I am having a very hard time. I hate this. I really really hate this. I am not sure how to cope with this.

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